the effects of missing you.. haha.. sorry..

here i go again.. in my lonely den.. crying my heart out over things that my tears absolutely won't change..

i am so sad.. yah.. sad.. well.. what it is i'm depressed about is not a question.. actually, every one knows it's all about him and a thing called love.. nyahaha..

You like someone and there's totally a lot of ways for you to reach him.. Everyone keeps egging you on, saying you look good together and yah yah, you are meant to be.. right! >.<

all these pains becauseof the "most wonderful feeling in the world".. caused by love.. crap..

i used to believe in destiny.. serendipity.. true love.. whatever you call it.. now, i just find myself doubting the things i formerly believed in.. yes.. we love.. we wish everything to be perfect.. we want everything to get right.. and when i love someone.. i always promise myself that i'll do everything for that special person.. that sometimes.. i really really forget to keep at least a bit of my heart for myself..

But the thing is, it's so hard to keep everything in place, hard to make things perfect.. it's hard to keep things go as you want them to.. in ways that would bring you happiness and contentment.. you want things to get well but they seldom do..

I used to believe in the chemistry between two people.. the way they look at each other, the things they talk about, the way they do stuff together, their interests, the places they both go to, the coincidences they get involved with.. But now... >.<

What are the chances that i'll meet that "right" person..? out of all the throngs of people in the world.. what are the chances that i'll notice him if now i believe i love another person.. or what are the chances that the person i am loving now is the one for me? no, i don't think so.. things are just so complicated.. now he's there and he's within my reach.. then tomorrow i'll find him gone.. and all that's left with me are the happiest yet forever bothering memories of what love has caused.. hmm.. love is so complicated.. it really gives a lot of pains.. it comes when it's not expected.. it goes through you.. make you happy, make you cheerful, optimistic, bright, gay, fulfilled, content, delightful, vulnerable, then dejected, despirited, desolate, rueful, lugubrious, miserable..

is it really love? or is it us? is it the people around? or maybe it's just a matter of CHANGE.. coz yah.. people change all the time, and before you know it, the person you loved is gone The person you LOVE will go AWAY one way or the other.. yah.. he will go away.... >.<

if love can hurt this much..

*Why bother playing the game then? You always lose anyway.. the simple reason is that it FEELS SO GOOD TO FALL IN LOVE.. even if you know you'll be HURT,it will always be WORTH the try.. - mr. jeff abrenica*