Cognizant..

aware.. hmm.. yeah.. tapos na ang retreat..

Intrams na nga eh..

matatapos na actually..

know what? i leraned a lot of thinga from the past retreat.. sobra..

thta activity strengthened my faith..

and it made me see a lot of things that i thought were missing in my life for a lot of years na.. pero yun pala, they weren't missing.. natabunan lang sila ng sarili kong mga takot..

the retreat made me appreciate myself.. haha.. "i am beautiful, i am loved.. i am forgiven.. by the mercy of God.."

dati, i don't believe myself.. ayun.. dati.. pero ngayon i do believe in me na.. kinda built up my confidence i think.. haha.. basta..

and na-appreciate ko yung mga bagay, mga tao, at mga nangyari sa buhay ko na sobrang dapat noon ko pa pinahalagahan..

lam nyo ba? i cried a lot.. naisip ko kc.. nakakapagsisi pala talaga.. isipin nyo na lang.. tingin ko ganun ko xa kamahal para gawin lahatng yun pero after reflecting.. nyaaahh.. sinisi ko rin yung sarili koh.. dalawang taon ang nasayang.. kung alam ko lang.. sinayang ko yung dalawang taon na yun not knowing na ganun lang pala kaikli yung time for me to show how much he means to me... ngayon wala na.. no chance.. la na xa eh.. hanggang sayang na lang ako.. haaaaay.. di kio ma-explain.. nakakainis.. nakakapanghinayang.. pero siguro, parusa saken to ni Lord.. KC AKO EH! TAKTE! i feel so bad.. now so worthless.. haaaaaay..

but i have to go on.. whatever happens.. i have to.. ok ok.. this is going nowhere na..

gotta go.. till my next post..

-ivy!ü